I found some really really funny car jokes, check them out.
As far as I can tell the Malaysian highway code is "every man/women for themselves".
Never use 1 lane if you can straddle two lanes.
Never use the "slow" lane - even if you are going very
SLOWLY.Box junctions should be driven into even if the traffic light is just changing to red so you can block everyone coming the other way.
Never and I do mean never ever indicate.
Always drive in the lane that’s moving, regardless of the fact that the junction you wish to use is fast approaching and you are way over in the right lane, just cut straight across three lanes of traffic and always remember the first statement.
You may use any lane to overtake including the emergency lane.
Always put your hazard warning lights on when it’s raining but never switch on your headlights. When traffic lights turn red you have at least five seconds before the other light turns green so just go for it.
Never and I do mean never move out of the way of an ambulance but (even if it means crashing into another car) do whatever is necessary to get out of the way of a VIP’s motorcade, even if there is nowhere to go.
When approaching a toll plaza try to overtake as many cars as possible and then get as close as possible to the toll booth before cutting right in front of a poor unsuspecting motorist, who, after all, isn’t in a rush like you are.
If there is a (Malaysian) highway code I doubt one single driver has ever read it
Some interesting snippets:
(Pedestrians)a) One point for each pedestrian you hit;
b) Two points if the pedestrian isn't even in the road;
c) Five points if the pedestrian is using a zebra crossing;
d) Datuk title will be awarded to driver with most points each year
(Motorbikes)a) Do not overtake to the right of a car - only on the left;
b) When a car indicates left and slows to turn, continue at your former speed and pass on the left;
c) Push to the front of a queue at a traffic light and then make a really slow start when the lights change;
d) As with cars, do not indicate in any circumstances - it can trigger epilepsy;
e) Helmets are generally optional, but are strictly forbidden whilst driving to Friday prayers, visiting the Pasar Malam or driving in a Kampong area
(Parking)a) Car-parks are forbidden by most religions, you must park illegally on the street even if there is a car-park just meters away;
b) If you encounter double-parking carefully position your vehicle to start a third line of cars, leaving just enough room for a Kancil with its wing-mirrors tucked in;
c) If you encounter triple-parking and it is a Friday afternoon, just put on your handbrake and park in the middle of the road;
d) If you see a traffic policeman approaching your parking area, do not worry, it will take hours for him to reach your car due to all the other illegally parked vehicles in-between;
(Fines)a) If you are given a fine / summons, do not worry, wait for a mega-sale or just ask nicely and get a discount;
b) If you don't feel like paying and you happen to be a public figure, just don't bother, they will never chase you up seriously;
c) Expect to be asked to pay a fine to the issuer of the fine directly, with substantial discount and without a receipt.
(Entering or Leaving a Highway)a) Upon approaching a highway using a slip road, do not turn your head to the right as it would show acknowledgement of your enemy;
b) No matter how much traffic there is on the highway, when you reach it, you must keep moving forwards until one of the cars already on the highway has to let you in to avoid hitting you;
c) Do not indicate your intention to join the highway, it may cause epilepsy;
d) If you encounter a car indicating, do not yield and instead close all gaps, help to stop the spread of thoughtful and friendly driving;
e) When leaving a highway, or any other major road, slow down to the speed you imagine you will need sometime later on your new road, forcing all traffic to brake or swerve to avoid you - do not turn and then brake;
f) Should you wish to leave the highway to the left and you are in the right-most lane, do not worry - wait until the last second, and then turn sharply into the exit - all other traffic will avoid you, don't worry.
Look I've got a plastic engine
That all folks,
Thomas Cuthbert
Wow I'm amazed that 5 months of 6th grade has gone so fast, and by now every 6th grader has mastered organization (well most of us). We all are masters at opening our locks by now and we all can make better choices than 5th grade! I'm so excited because there is only 6 months of 6th grade left, then I'm off to 7th grade!
