Ow :( it does have sharp edges! LOL
Dancing
15 years ago
Monday, November 24, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Weekly pics!
Here is a really funny picture! I love it.
Haha very funny, I think I would give up if I was him!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Car/motorbike fun!
I found some really really funny car jokes, check them out.
As far as I can tell the Malaysian highway code is "every man/women for themselves".
Never use 1 lane if you can straddle two lanes.
Never use the "slow" lane - even if you are going very SLOWLY.
Box junctions should be driven into even if the traffic light is just changing to red so you can block everyone coming the other way.
Never and I do mean never ever indicate.
Always drive in the lane that’s moving, regardless of the fact that the junction you wish to use is fast approaching and you are way over in the right lane, just cut straight across three lanes of traffic and always remember the first statement.
You may use any lane to overtake including the emergency lane.
Always put your hazard warning lights on when it’s raining but never switch on your headlights. When traffic lights turn red you have at least five seconds before the other light turns green so just go for it.
Never and I do mean never move out of the way of an ambulance but (even if it means crashing into another car) do whatever is necessary to get out of the way of a VIP’s motorcade, even if there is nowhere to go.
When approaching a toll plaza try to overtake as many cars as possible and then get as close as possible to the toll booth before cutting right in front of a poor unsuspecting motorist, who, after all, isn’t in a rush like you are.
If there is a (Malaysian) highway code I doubt one single driver has ever read it
Some interesting snippets:
(Pedestrians)
a) One point for each pedestrian you hit;
b) Two points if the pedestrian isn't even in the road;
c) Five points if the pedestrian is using a zebra crossing;
d) Datuk title will be awarded to driver with most points each year
(Motorbikes)
a) Do not overtake to the right of a car - only on the left;
b) When a car indicates left and slows to turn, continue at your former speed and pass on the left;
c) Push to the front of a queue at a traffic light and then make a really slow start when the lights change;
d) As with cars, do not indicate in any circumstances - it can trigger epilepsy;
e) Helmets are generally optional, but are strictly forbidden whilst driving to Friday prayers, visiting the Pasar Malam or driving in a Kampong area
(Parking)
a) Car-parks are forbidden by most religions, you must park illegally on the street even if there is a car-park just meters away;
b) If you encounter double-parking carefully position your vehicle to start a third line of cars, leaving just enough room for a Kancil with its wing-mirrors tucked in;
c) If you encounter triple-parking and it is a Friday afternoon, just put on your handbrake and park in the middle of the road;
d) If you see a traffic policeman approaching your parking area, do not worry, it will take hours for him to reach your car due to all the other illegally parked vehicles in-between;
(Fines)
a) If you are given a fine / summons, do not worry, wait for a mega-sale or just ask nicely and get a discount;
b) If you don't feel like paying and you happen to be a public figure, just don't bother, they will never chase you up seriously;
c) Expect to be asked to pay a fine to the issuer of the fine directly, with substantial discount and without a receipt.
(Entering or Leaving a Highway)
a) Upon approaching a highway using a slip road, do not turn your head to the right as it would show acknowledgement of your enemy;
b) No matter how much traffic there is on the highway, when you reach it, you must keep moving forwards until one of the cars already on the highway has to let you in to avoid hitting you;
c) Do not indicate your intention to join the highway, it may cause epilepsy;
d) If you encounter a car indicating, do not yield and instead close all gaps, help to stop the spread of thoughtful and friendly driving;
e) When leaving a highway, or any other major road, slow down to the speed you imagine you will need sometime later on your new road, forcing all traffic to brake or swerve to avoid you - do not turn and then brake;
f) Should you wish to leave the highway to the left and you are in the right-most lane, do not worry - wait until the last second, and then turn sharply into the exit - all other traffic will avoid you, don't worry.
Look I've got a plastic engine
That all folks,
Thomas Cuthbert
As far as I can tell the Malaysian highway code is "every man/women for themselves".
Never use 1 lane if you can straddle two lanes.
Never use the "slow" lane - even if you are going very SLOWLY.
Box junctions should be driven into even if the traffic light is just changing to red so you can block everyone coming the other way.
Never and I do mean never ever indicate.
Always drive in the lane that’s moving, regardless of the fact that the junction you wish to use is fast approaching and you are way over in the right lane, just cut straight across three lanes of traffic and always remember the first statement.
You may use any lane to overtake including the emergency lane.
Always put your hazard warning lights on when it’s raining but never switch on your headlights. When traffic lights turn red you have at least five seconds before the other light turns green so just go for it.
Never and I do mean never move out of the way of an ambulance but (even if it means crashing into another car) do whatever is necessary to get out of the way of a VIP’s motorcade, even if there is nowhere to go.
When approaching a toll plaza try to overtake as many cars as possible and then get as close as possible to the toll booth before cutting right in front of a poor unsuspecting motorist, who, after all, isn’t in a rush like you are.
If there is a (Malaysian) highway code I doubt one single driver has ever read it
Some interesting snippets:
(Pedestrians)
a) One point for each pedestrian you hit;
b) Two points if the pedestrian isn't even in the road;
c) Five points if the pedestrian is using a zebra crossing;
d) Datuk title will be awarded to driver with most points each year
(Motorbikes)
a) Do not overtake to the right of a car - only on the left;
b) When a car indicates left and slows to turn, continue at your former speed and pass on the left;
c) Push to the front of a queue at a traffic light and then make a really slow start when the lights change;
d) As with cars, do not indicate in any circumstances - it can trigger epilepsy;
e) Helmets are generally optional, but are strictly forbidden whilst driving to Friday prayers, visiting the Pasar Malam or driving in a Kampong area
(Parking)
a) Car-parks are forbidden by most religions, you must park illegally on the street even if there is a car-park just meters away;
b) If you encounter double-parking carefully position your vehicle to start a third line of cars, leaving just enough room for a Kancil with its wing-mirrors tucked in;
c) If you encounter triple-parking and it is a Friday afternoon, just put on your handbrake and park in the middle of the road;
d) If you see a traffic policeman approaching your parking area, do not worry, it will take hours for him to reach your car due to all the other illegally parked vehicles in-between;
(Fines)
a) If you are given a fine / summons, do not worry, wait for a mega-sale or just ask nicely and get a discount;
b) If you don't feel like paying and you happen to be a public figure, just don't bother, they will never chase you up seriously;
c) Expect to be asked to pay a fine to the issuer of the fine directly, with substantial discount and without a receipt.
(Entering or Leaving a Highway)
a) Upon approaching a highway using a slip road, do not turn your head to the right as it would show acknowledgement of your enemy;
b) No matter how much traffic there is on the highway, when you reach it, you must keep moving forwards until one of the cars already on the highway has to let you in to avoid hitting you;
c) Do not indicate your intention to join the highway, it may cause epilepsy;
d) If you encounter a car indicating, do not yield and instead close all gaps, help to stop the spread of thoughtful and friendly driving;
e) When leaving a highway, or any other major road, slow down to the speed you imagine you will need sometime later on your new road, forcing all traffic to brake or swerve to avoid you - do not turn and then brake;
f) Should you wish to leave the highway to the left and you are in the right-most lane, do not worry - wait until the last second, and then turn sharply into the exit - all other traffic will avoid you, don't worry.
Look I've got a plastic engine
That all folks,
Thomas Cuthbert
Pic of the week
Hi sup,
I have decided to make a picture of the week every Monday, guaranteed to be funny.
So look out for PICTURES!!!!!
Here is one starting for yesterday:
Quotes!!!
Ohh, how I love quotes,
Here are some quotes and sayings that I like;
As I was walking up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.
Poor animals
Sniff Sniff,
I'm feeling really sad right now because of all of the animals that are being abused right now, there are probably about fifty thousand animals being treated in a cruel way right now. There is only 25% of every years animals that get handed in that have new homes , they are either pure breeds or the cute ones. Which means that 75% of the animals have to be put to sleep, put to sleep means that they are given an over dose or drugs and then it looks like they are falling asleep but they are dying. Most animals don't have homes so if you don't have a pet, ADOPT ONE!!!!
The SPCA are looking for volunteers, so when or if you have the time you should go and help out.
Here is a video on homeless animals:
I'm feeling really sad right now because of all of the animals that are being abused right now, there are probably about fifty thousand animals being treated in a cruel way right now. There is only 25% of every years animals that get handed in that have new homes , they are either pure breeds or the cute ones. Which means that 75% of the animals have to be put to sleep, put to sleep means that they are given an over dose or drugs and then it looks like they are falling asleep but they are dying. Most animals don't have homes so if you don't have a pet, ADOPT ONE!!!!
The SPCA are looking for volunteers, so when or if you have the time you should go and help out.
Here is a video on homeless animals:
This will take a while to load but i assure you it will make you change your mind.
Again,
Thomas Cuthbert
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Leaders are great people, because they can make change just like Obama (Whoo go Obama) Sorry for all of you McCain people. :(
Any way, what it takes to be a leader is mostly courage and to be able to stand up for your rights.
Rights are so important because if there we no rights then by now men would have taken over the earth, which is bad, but now that women rights have come, both sexes are equal.
Courage, courage, courage... YOU MUST have courage in order to be a leader, courage allows you to tell some one that some thing they are doing is really annoying them, if you didn't have courage, then you would not be able to tell that annoying person to stop. Courage also allows you to stand up for your self, because if you were shy and didn't have the courage to do that then you would never advance up a step to a different scenario.
Those two charachteristics I think are the most inportant to have in order to be a leader.
Here is a viedeo on Rights, and the person singing the song, I would consider a leader:
Any way, what it takes to be a leader is mostly courage and to be able to stand up for your rights.
Rights are so important because if there we no rights then by now men would have taken over the earth, which is bad, but now that women rights have come, both sexes are equal.
Courage, courage, courage... YOU MUST have courage in order to be a leader, courage allows you to tell some one that some thing they are doing is really annoying them, if you didn't have courage, then you would not be able to tell that annoying person to stop. Courage also allows you to stand up for your self, because if you were shy and didn't have the courage to do that then you would never advance up a step to a different scenario.
Those two charachteristics I think are the most inportant to have in order to be a leader.
Here is a viedeo on Rights, and the person singing the song, I would consider a leader:
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